Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Hmm

This is a "What Would You Do?" sort of post. One of my little nuggets came home today claiming that she found a mouse dropping in her sandwich. Whole wheat sliced bread (no seeds), cold-cut ham and american cheese. She brought the sandwich home with one small piece of bread missing from it and no mouse dropping, because she threw that part away. So I retrieved the bag of bread from the refrigerator and pulled all of the slices out onto the cutting board. No droppings or evidence of droppings. Shook the bag out over the sink- crumbs, no droppings. Asked her if she was sure, or if perhaps the ham had some spice or something on it. Nope, had to be a mouse dropping.

Even though she has utter certainty, I don't believe there was a mouse dropping in the sandwich. How could there be just one in the whole bag, and it happened to land on her sandwich slices? This is almost irrelevant though, because I foresee that she will refuse to eat any futher slices of bread from this bag. Do I buy another just for her, or wait until this one is gone, and let her eat crackers or no bread in the meantime? Am I crazy, or is it possible for a very tidy mouse to drop just one pellet on a loaf of bread?

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Soylent Green

So many of my stories seem to be really stupid. I don't know how this happens, since I think I'm reasonably intelligent, but I never have stories about spiritual enlightenment, or intellectual epiphanies, it's just daily irritations that don't seem to happen to other people with the same intensity. Maybe the enlightenment is right there, and I'm too busy being outraged to pick it up.

So much for contemplation, here is the tale of my disastrous lunch expedition, which really starts last night. My cousin, who is staying with us for the summer and going to camp, had to be there early this morning for the field trip. 0645 early, which is about 1 hour earlier than I ever manage to roll out of bed. I was whinging about this to the husband who gallantly stepped up and offered to take her to the rendezvous. (Sort of gallant that is. He actually said, "Let's be realistic, I'll just take her." I could have done it, and he robbed me of the chance to prove it.) So I woke up late (ie, the usual time), and was moving slow (about the usual pace) and had no time to make lunch (which is unusual, because I usually take leftovers, but we had none.) At lunch time I set out to forage for food using my best tools, wallet and car, since I wanted an Israeli pita sandwich and was far too lazy to walk all the way across campus and back. Walked all the way to the car only to realize I had forgotten the keys. Since the parking lot is in the opposite direction to the food, I had to walk all the way back toward the office, and just continued on to the engineering deli, which serves food that is as delicious as you might imagine it would be, in a clapped out, old engineering building. The guy in front of me is having some long discussion with the clerk and finally moved on so that I could order the taco salad, which is the only edible salad they sell. Despite the name, there are no tacos involved, just lettuce, salsa and cheese, with chili on top. Turns out the previous guy's problem was that the chili wasn't ready, so I compromised and asked for a side of mystery soup instead. So already in one lunch, I've downgraded twice. Then I signed the credit slip before realizing that I had been overcharged. The kid at the register had charged me an extra $0.70 for a different salad. I pointed this out, and the manager took over. She looked at the receipt, listened to my explanation, and offered me $0.34 refund.

"But the difference between $5.99 and $6.69 is..."
"What, you expected a dollar back? No, it's only a couple cents."

This is where my talent for the ridiculous came in. Instead of giving up and coming back to the grey cube to eat my undelicious salad, I tried to explain that she had calculated the difference between the taxed taco salad and the untaxed cobb salad, and that really, she should just give me my 70cents. At this point, there were 4 people lined up waiting to pay, but the 3 people behind the counter were all consumed with my refund, and refused to use the 2nd register to check anyone else out. While hungry hate rays of death were shooting out of the other customers eyes, and the 3 employees were giving me looks making it clear that they wished they had thought to spit in my food, the manager refunded the incorrect cost of the salad ($7.10 with tax) to my debit card, then charged me the correct price ($6.35 with tax), making me sign two more credit receipts in the process. Then she bid me adieu, still wondering why I made such a big deal over 34 cents. I'm torn between feeling stupid for signing in the first place for the wrong price, wasting time in the second place for the sake of a salad which isn't even going to be that great, or in the third place for not being able to figure out that the refund was supposed to be $0.75.

All in the time it would have taken to just walk out for the pita I really wanted. Ta-da!

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Crime, No Punishment

I found this on fark.com. I like how seriously NJ takes drunk driving- they might be as cavalier as MD, or close to it.

WCBS NEWSRADIO 880 - New Jersey Man Admits 15th Drunk Driving Offense

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