Good Drinks

When I was pregnant last year, I bored my friends to tears complaining about the lack of mocktails in this town.  I enjoy going out, I don't care for soda that much, the tap water in Annapolis tastes and smells like an armpit that's been sprayed with chlorine and sulfur, and iced tea has caffeine, which I didn't want to drink too much of.  For all of these reasons, I would frequently ask bartenders for non-alcoholic cocktails, with the caveat that neither daiquiris, coladas, nor tomato juice were acceptable.  At least 4 out of 5 times, they would have nothing to offer.  I suspect this is because most bartenders around here are the equivalent of short-order cooks.  They know how to make popular drinks in a semi-competent fashion, and aspire to nothing more.  They do not savor fine rye whiskey, they don't wonder if anything can be done with Frangelico, and they have no clue that the original James Bond martini, the Vesper, had both gin and vodka (and Lillet Blanc.  Lovely, spicy Lillet).  Out of the remaining 20% of bartenders, the ones who might honestly (and pretentiously) call themselves mixologists, probably half were not interested in making something for me.  It's hard to blame them: mixing non-alcoholic drinks is like cooking without meat.  You can do it, but it's hard to do it well off the cuff.  

After this experience, I determined to write a book of nonalchoholic cocktail recipes.  I thought it would have appeal to a wide audience of non-drinkers: pregnant women, sober alcoholics and medicated people.  I'm semi-happy to say that yesterday I found that I have been beaten to the presses, and at least two such books already exist.  Read all about them.  This article in the WaPost considers mocktails as drinks for kids, which I had never thought of.  That in itself is a little strange, because we've had a neigborhood tradition of "special water" for some years.  This started as a special treat for the kids during adult happy hour, and we would get different flavors of seltzer for them.  Since soda is a restricted substance in some of our houses, the kids were deliriously excited about the stuff.  Anyway, Hunter is quite excited by the idea of something new, and we have set Friday as the date for our first making of mocktails.  We're going to try the Dark Invader, and he's going to help "cook."  I'm quite looking forward to it, because I think we've explored every permutation of fruit juice and seltzer, and he was getting a little bored.  This should perk things right up.  Once he goes to bed, I'll work on variations of the theme, either with rum or vodka.  I don't usually drink rum, but pineapple juice almost demands it, don't you think?  The challenge will be getting the husband to try a sip and render judgement.  I married a wild drinker with a sailing problem, but he doesn't really drink anymore.  He's as sober as a responsible father of two with a job and a station wagon.  For example.