Low-level Angst: DEFCON 2

Because I'm not ready for a full freak-out, but am definitely gearing up.

As we are living in interesting times, I am finding that very small things are assuming disproportionate weight. On Friday, I hurt myself. I was running up the stairs to help Hunter with his computer game, and I was already feeling low-level guilt for letting him play on the computer instead of trying to have a conversation or card game with him. Schuyler was downstairs, doing some low-level complaining about being hungry or gassy or something more existential- who knows? As I ran up the stairs, I tripped, and caught my foot in the hem of my pants, which is incredibly ironic since I had spent the entire day feeling a low-level embarrassment about the short length of these pants, and had just about decided I should never wear them again. The nail of my big toe, which has been incubating a big-time fungus infection for the last 10 months, caught in the hem of my pants and ripped most of the way off. This led to serious suppression of swearing (of which I am really proud) as I hopped over to the computer to help with the computer game. Then I hopped back to the linen closet to get a towel so the blood streaming from my toe wouldn't make a huge mess. Wrapped the whole thing up in a handkerchief that I cut into a bandage (because my stock of muslin petticoats seems to have run out), and went back down to deal with the baby and my suddenly less appetizing dinner (seafood, since the man is out of town).

So a ripped toenail is cringeworthy, but just a small thing, right? But I can't get over it. I went to the podiatrist yesterday to have the nail removed the rest of the way, and had to practice my best yoga breathing to not pass out. There is something deeply squicky about having my feet interfered with, even worse than my teeth. At the dentist, my second best yoga breathing is usually sufficient to keep me from trying to bite people (I usually think about being a wolf, and convince myself that the hygienist or dentist torturing me would taste too much of minty toothpaste to be worth the effort, and then I start wondering about the mechanics of running with 4 legs and a tail, which usually leads to further wonderings about wolf-food, and if they enjoy eating deerhide and such, or just eat what is available, and then the dental-prey leaning over me is generally finished, having kept their lives without knowing how close they were to experiencing a little Call of the Wild). But the podiatrist is probably 10 times worse. The most painful part was having my foot numbed, which may have involved a needle. I don't know for sure, because I was fully reclined at the time, having warned the doctor/victim that I was likely to pass out. He was quick and expeditious, wrapped me up in a huge bandage, and I was out of there.

I was ready to let all the angst go, and managed to proceed with routine (soccer practice, McD's for Hunter, liberal suburban guilt about the McD's, mild glee that Mom paid for it (a whole 5 bucks, score!)). Then while I'm sitting around imitating a milk truck, the dog walks into the room, moves to the back of her crate, and pukes up a huge pile of half-digested dog food. Staring at the huge pile of stinky vomitus while continuing to imitate the milk truck helped to ratchet the angst back up above mild. I started to hope that trusty Mom would take care of it, but I had 25 minutes to realize that allowing my aged parent with the two gimpy knees and recently repaired eyes to clean the mess would plunge me into a pit of guilt from which I might take hours to recover (yes, hours. I'm not that deep, emotionally). But this is where the toe comes back in, because climbing into the crate to swab up the mess was a bit awkward, what with the throbbing, the bandages, and my general fear of causing myself any further pain.

You'd never know I just had a baby, right? You should see me perform when I get paper cuts.

After all that, Mom and I and whinging baby settled down to watch Olberman (who had us screaming at the television) and all the business news we could find, which led us to conclude that our finances are going to hell, and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. Thus the Defcon 2 of angst: an accumulation of small things on top of a big thing I can't control left me feeling like a high-water wearing, mediocre parent with a hat made out of dog vomit. If only our politicians felt the same.

Beached Whale

The Smirking Chimp - "Gidget address[es] the Reichstag"

The scariest thing about Sarah Palin isn't how unqualified she is - it's what her candidacy says about America The Smirking Chimp

Trying to kill 8 hours in Gatwick airport, London, I picked up a copy of the latest Rolling Stone magazine not expecting to end up reading on of the most scathing commentaries on Sarah Palin I've seen anywhere. Written by Matt Taibbi, a political columnist for rolling stone, author of a couple of best selling books and serial guest on "The Daily Show". The piece from Rolling Stone magazine was just mosted on his blog http://www.smirkingchimp.com. Many reviewers have hailed him as the next Hunter S. Thompson and after reading this piece I think that is a fair comparison. His turn of phrase is witty, scathing and some might say more than a little cynical. e.g. - "Not only is Sarah Palin a fraud, she's the tawdriest, most half-assed fraud imaginable, 20 floors below the lowest common denominator, a character too dumb even for daytime TV -and this country is going to eat her up, cheering her every step of the way"...

Check it out..

Crazy Talk

There is one more day of public comment allowed on the federal regulation that allows medical and pharmaceutical personnel to not dispense family planning services on the grounds of religious objection. Not content to continue the neverending skirmish over abortion, this regulation specifically covers sterilization also, meaning you could find yourself arguing with a doctor or nurse over getting your tubes tied or clipped (that means you're affected too, guys!). Time was, only the Catholic hospitals did this sort of nonsense, making women get permission from their husbands for all sorts of procedures, but that just meant that determined people could avoid Catholic hospitals. Now getting fixed could be like running a maze, starting with your GP, and continuing through every level until you get to the OR. Then heaven help you if a nurse decides she can't be part of such a sin mid-way through your procedure, and the Keystone Kops have to run around looking for a less sanctimonious person.

The bitterly funny part about this is that the fundies have overlooked some things, and deliberately slipped others in without thinking of the wider consequences. First off, the reg has been written loosely enough that contraceptives can easily be included. Thus, your doctor or pharmacist can easily refuse to prescribe, dispense, or even inform you about the pill, IUDs, etc. The horrible part here is that some medical professionals believe that the pill is equivalent to abortion by preventing implantation of fertilized eggs, when as far as I can tell from reading about it, the pill prevents ovulation, so no conception can occur at all. Have they read something different, or do they not bother to research at all before taking their stand? Also, there are a number of maladies that are treated with daily hormone therapy, aka, the pill. First among these is endometriosis, which is terribly painful and incurable. Do the people pushing this idea not know about the non-contraceptive uses of contraceptives, or do they just not care? Since only women are affected directly, is our health being trashed for the sake of other people's religious notions?

Secondly, how long until the protection of religious conscience extends beyond family planning? I can imagine doctors refusing to give blood transfusions, alcohol based medicines and medicines or medical supplies derived from animal products or proven with animal testing. I'm sure there are many more plausible examples you can think of based on religious grounds or moral convictions.

Anyway, if you think this sort of protection ought to be extended to conscientious objectors in medicine, then do nothing, and Good Luck to you in future. If you think this is a terrible idea, let the feds know by submitting a comment: consciencecomment@hhs.gov

If this thing goes through, I'm going to propose regulation that allows me to avoid equations in my engineering work, because they just confuse the measurements I get direct from G-d.

Filthy Lucre

So we seem to be in the middle of a financial scandal so juicy that the news reports read more like Hollywood tabloids than the Wall Street Journal. This stuff is so ripe that even the Wall Street Journal has been turned into a sensational scandal rag. The condemnation and shame are pretty tightly tied to politics at the moment, as somewhat impartial observers are noting that the lack of regulation on the part of government has enabled the current market meltdown. "Hurray!" the Democrats yell, as they sharpen their pitchforks. "We always knew those dirty Republicans were letting their fatcat friends do wrong. Now we are going to firmly affix blame with our freshly sharpened implements!" (Because even in the heat of the moment, they have rehearsed their comments.)

But here is a little question for you: during the last major financial fiasco, the Savings and Loan crisis of the 80s, to which party did the senators of the Keating Five belong? Here's a hint: McCain was the exception, not the rule.

Looks like the rest of us can't assume anything about which party is more likely to maintain strong (and honest) government oversight of the markets.

None of this is to contradict earlier comments that we should be less cynical about politicians and public servants. I just wanted to note that scoundrels come in all flavors, and it's downright dangerous to assume that your favored party is always squeaky clean and the opposition is always dirty.

Sciencedebate 2008

Sciencedebate 2008
One of my biggest concerns over the last 8 years has been the degradation of the value of science in policy development and political discourse in this country. Too often it seems legislation is passed without serious consideration or understanding of the underlying scientific of physical phenomena at work. In many cases, the present administration has censored or controlled government agency developed scientific research to further their political agendas.

For me this is a very important issue that has implications on every level of policy from climate change and environmental concerns to education and immigration policy yet somehow, amongst all the accusations of sexism, patriotism, experience and porcine cosmetics, the course of the current presidential campaign has managed to avoid any detailed discussion about the role science will play in the administrations of Senator's Obama or McCain.

Head to the Sciencedebate 2008 link above to read side-by-side answers to 14 enlighting questions from Senators' Obama and McCain specifically. Unfortunately, there is no way of telling which advisors wrote these pieces or advised the candidates on their answers but its interesting none-the-less.

In Praise of Elitism

Well, I'm back at work, plodding away at the helicopter, and I had to share a question that has been growing in strength all day: What is wrong with being one of the elite?

Specifically, it seems the national consensus has defined "elite" as educated (self or formally), knowledgeable, or intellectually curious. You may also be vulnerable to the "elite" tag if you earn an income that is significantly above the poverty line or if you appreciate nice things. If you know the difference between brie and bleu, ale and lager, latte and cappucino, and worse, care about the difference, you are elite. If you have the nerve to work hard to advance in your field, to earn a degree or certification, to get promotions, to get ahead for the benefit of yourself and your family, you are elite (By the way, somebody should have told me that I would automatically become one of the elite upon attaining my first degree. I could have quit this nonsense 13 years ago). And being elite, you are disqualified from participating in the national political dialog, or from being taken seriously if you speak up. Somehow, we are idealizing mediocrity, insisting that a politician has to be Just Folks to be considered sincere. This is utter insanity. The first part of the crazy happened long ago, when we lost our faith in the notion of public service and started to assume that every politician is selfish, deceptive and disconnected from the rest of us. The current part of the crazy is forcing politicians (who we have already condemned in crazy part 1) to pretend to be no better than anyone else. Our entire political system (probably most systems) is predicated on the notion that a person thinks they have something to contribute to the community, and can do it so much better than other people that they deserve the votes of other citizens. If you don't think you are better (or can do better), and aren't interested in giving your time to the effort, then you don't run for office. If no one runs for office, our society as we know it collapses, from town to county to state to nation.

Right now, we are in the final weeks of a presidential campaign, yet we seem to be stuck discussing the personal lives of the candidates, rather than their politics. I resisted writing about Gov. Palin because I had nothing nice to say about her personal life, and didn't know anything about her politics. Honestly, I don't want to know the details of a candidate's child-rearing practices, or their religious practices, or their commute to work, or their marital history. I want to know their thoughts on important public policies, foreign and domestic, how they would or wouldn't change our country's current stance, and how they envision the future. Where are they going to lead us, how do they expect us to contribute to the greater good, and what will we all get from it. Most of all, I want to believe that the person I am electing is intelligent and capable of navigating us through present difficulty and conflict toward a future as good as or better than now. (Insofar as possible. If the future must be worse than now, than I'd like the softest possible descent.) What I don't want is a leader who is better at pretending to be ordinary than at leading.

This is mostly our fault, not the politicians. The artificial "they" is reflecting what "we" want to hear. Instead of deriding each other for being elite, can we not acknowledge that success is a suitable reward for hard work? Education is not a liability, and knowledge of the world is not shameful. Being successful, educated and knowledgeable are not signs of elitism, snobbery, or classism, they are badges of honor.