So it's Inauguration Day, and I'm really, deliriously happy. I'm not really going to write about my joy though, because I am finding that my muse prefers to sing when I am cranky. It is as if I don't possess the vocabulary to write about joyful things. I barely have the words to speak of them, and thus it has been a largely silent day.
In particular though, I'm so sceptical about people and life that I have a hard time living in the moment. Yes, it is slightly happy-making that a Democrat won this time instead of a Republican. Yes, it is utterly dumbfounding that we have elected someone who is not white, with an immigrant for a father, so young, so audacious, so relatively untried (actually that last bit is not quite so happy). I live in a country that has moved from widespread segregation and vote suppression to electing a black man in 40 years, and I've watched the inauguration next to the man I wouldn't have been allowed to marry back then. That is just... cool. But tomorrow, real life resumes, and I just don't know if any of us, much less the politicians that we routinely twist into farcical distortions of human beings, can work for something better.
Like I said, my eloquence has left me for the day (speaking of which, does anyone else fall into a flaming rage when a highly educated and/or accomplished black person is described as articulate? Of course they are articulate, you...) (Of course, I'll fall into a flaming rage if I'm stuck behind someone driving 64mph on a 65mph highway, so I may not be the best gauge of intolerable behavior). I perceive myself as a beautiful, rotund (the diet? not working) version of Dorian Gray, radiant and youthful on the outside, with a wizened little nut on the inside where a sentimental heart should be. Perhaps my refusal to fully engage with my "feelings" (cue Yentl) will keep my face young without resorting to surgery and chemicals. The upside here is that my lovely, incredibly unhealthy husband will find himself with a trophy wife in just 10 years or so, without going through the expense and bother of finding a new woman! Now that's change I can believe in.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Quotidienne
Just a quick post to note that I have nothing to say at the moment. The small details of daily life are grinding me into low-quality, grad-school grade flour, and absolutely nothing exciting or even enraging is happening in my life right now.
We started the South Beach Diet again, which is one of my favorite diets ever, for the fact that I really don't have to change the way I eat. I don't care for bread much, am not a big pasta eater, and can ignore rice when necessary. Of course, this means that the diet doesn't actually help me lose much weight, but that's ok at the moment. What it might help me do is kick the pregnancy related sweet tooth. Before Schuyler, sweets were an occasional (and relished) treat. In the last trimester or so, the Man was sent out 4 times a week for dessert. I thought that was pretty crazy, but that things would settle down after the kid was born. Sadly, the bricks of chocolate that have parked themselves on my caboose have shown that this is not the case. So I am undertaking a serious effort to rein in the sweet tooth. To put a cap on it, as it were.
The Christmas decorations were packed away while I was working on the dissertation this weekend. I was glad not to participate, because it always makes me melancholy to dismantle holiday decorations (especially without cookies and alcohol to add cheer). Anyway, as I was up in my fastness trying to wring another sentence out of my dry sponge of a mind, I heard a cry, a thump, a silence, and a loud "What did you do that for?" from the husband. Seems a fly (common house, not rampaging vampiric) had buzzed by my son, who reacted by trying to kill it. Normal enough, I suppose, even if somewhat bloodthirsty. So he threw something at it- the first thing that came to hand: a Christmas snowglobe. Not normal. I can't even express how not normal I find this. Thankfully, three seasons of baseball have left the boy with a throw only his mother could love, and the snowglobe failed to go through a window. It did not fail to break.
So like I said, not much happening on the ranch lately. Just two adults going through bad food withdrawal and a kid who is competing with my cousin for the WTF medal of honor.
We started the South Beach Diet again, which is one of my favorite diets ever, for the fact that I really don't have to change the way I eat. I don't care for bread much, am not a big pasta eater, and can ignore rice when necessary. Of course, this means that the diet doesn't actually help me lose much weight, but that's ok at the moment. What it might help me do is kick the pregnancy related sweet tooth. Before Schuyler, sweets were an occasional (and relished) treat. In the last trimester or so, the Man was sent out 4 times a week for dessert. I thought that was pretty crazy, but that things would settle down after the kid was born. Sadly, the bricks of chocolate that have parked themselves on my caboose have shown that this is not the case. So I am undertaking a serious effort to rein in the sweet tooth. To put a cap on it, as it were.
The Christmas decorations were packed away while I was working on the dissertation this weekend. I was glad not to participate, because it always makes me melancholy to dismantle holiday decorations (especially without cookies and alcohol to add cheer). Anyway, as I was up in my fastness trying to wring another sentence out of my dry sponge of a mind, I heard a cry, a thump, a silence, and a loud "What did you do that for?" from the husband. Seems a fly (common house, not rampaging vampiric) had buzzed by my son, who reacted by trying to kill it. Normal enough, I suppose, even if somewhat bloodthirsty. So he threw something at it- the first thing that came to hand: a Christmas snowglobe. Not normal. I can't even express how not normal I find this. Thankfully, three seasons of baseball have left the boy with a throw only his mother could love, and the snowglobe failed to go through a window. It did not fail to break.
So like I said, not much happening on the ranch lately. Just two adults going through bad food withdrawal and a kid who is competing with my cousin for the WTF medal of honor.
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