“And as a consequence, I hurt her, I hurt you all, I hurt my wife, I hurt my boys, I hurt friends like (former chief of staff) Tom Davis. I hurt a lot of different folks. And all I can say is that I apologize.”
These are words that keep Sanford in control. He is the one that had the fun of cheating, he is the one who wields hurt, and he is the person directing the agenda. An apology like that is about other people, namely his wife who presumably couldn't hold his interest, his children who weren't precious enough not to hurt, his friends who got to make asses of themselves defending him, and even about the other woman, who clearly seduced him from his family with banal emails about life. I'm waiting for the day that a public apology by a politician is all about the politician. Something like this:
"I broke my word. I violated the vows that I freely took before God and man, and am forsworn. (Can you tell I like historical romances? Esp. those featuring insulted honor and duels at dawn) I failed to resist the temptations that every adult encounters, and held my own desires to be more important than my duty to my family and to my state."
Of course, in Sanford's case, it wasn't his abrogation of his marital ties that brought him to such notice, it was his abandonment of his official duties, without even the courtesy of notifying the Lt. Governor or his own staff that he was going to be away.
Spitzer did something similar a year ago:
In the past few days I have begun to atone for my private failings with my wife, Silda, my children, and my entire family. The remorse I feel will always be with me. Words cannot describe how grateful I am for the love and compassion they have shown me. From those to whom much is given, much is expected. I have been given much: the love of my family, the faith and trust of the people of New York, and the chance to lead this state. I am deeply sorry that I did not live up to what was expected of me. To every New Yorker, and to all those who believed in what I tried to stand for, I sincerely apologize.
Wow, way to apologize, Tex. Again, this strikes me as being about other people, in a sly way. As if he had said, "Look how powerful I am, I managed to hurt and disappoint all these people, just because I could. Don't forget the humiliation I dealt out to my wife: her name is Silda, spelled S-I-L-D-A." As if the infraction was his failure to live up to other people's expectations.
Ensign has apologized for “embarrassing the Senate”. That's his only realy public statement to date, and slightly more to the point than usual. He's still avoiding ownership of his mistakes, but at least he didn't have the audacity to drag his family into the muck. He is also (barely) acknowledging the insult to his office which is a refreshing change. One might have hoped for specifics about his mistake in fraternizing with his employee, breaking his vows, betraying his other employee by alienating the affections of his wife, etc, but maybe he'll get around to it.
I'm not expecting perfection from politicians, just the same standard of behavior to which we all hold ourselves. If you choose to get married, don't cheat on your spouse. If you cheat on your spouse, don't try to justify your faults or gloss over your loss of integrity. If your private behavior has intruded into your public life and impaired your ability to fulfill your official duties so that you need to issue a public apology, then make a real apology, instead of mouthing self-serving pap.
