When I'm sick, I get stupid (handy excuse, really).
I was at the gas station yesterday, having coasted in on the last fumes. Was standing idly, waiting for full to happen when I noticed the price of $2.15/gallon. Whoa, why does the gas cost so much! (Incredible, when 3 months ago I would have been gloating over that low price) Turns out that I had started to pump high octane instead of regular. So I stopped and attempted to restart with the cheaper fuel. At this point I had a little song and dance with my debit card and the pump, with some apparent silicon confusion over my double purchase. I finally had to go inside and (gasp) speak to an attendant to get the pump turned on. Let's not dwell on how long it took me to identify the pump number, since I haven't had to look for one since 1998.
Came back out, resumed my idle stance waiting for the tank to fill. Noted that the woman in front of me was cleaning her windshield, but had taken the squeegee closest to MY car. "Geez," I thought, "that woman is dumb. Why didn't she just take the one closest to her?" So I decide that I should clean my windshield, and stroll over to get the squeegee closest to HER car. Very slow and deliberate movements, so she can understand the extra steps that she'll never get back into her life. Cleaned my windshield, but not fast enough, because she finished first, and put her squeegee back into the bucket closest to me! What a maroon! How could she fail to notice my elaborate and graceful kabuki meant entirely to educate her? What kind of person takes the extra steps to put the squeegee back into the wrong place? How on earth did she start this ridiculousness in the first place?
I can only imagine that when she got home, she confessed all to the first person she spoke to: "Some bitch tried to start something with me at the gas station, but I decided not to engage, because she was clearly out of her mind."
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