I'm Sick, and You Should Care

The title says it all really. If I weren't a total baby when I get sick, then I wouldn't be compelled to foist this information upon you, but that would be a different universe, with different constants (a little reference to the Anthropomorphic Universe, which theory totally annoys me).

Anywho, this stupid virus descended upon me at least a week ago, and had taken a leisurely migration from the back of my throat down to my upper chest. This means I am now wracked with coughing spasms several times a day, and continuously at night. What's amusing about this is that I am now coughing so much that I am also tossing up my food. That's right, these coughs come in color. That Devil Baby sure was surprised last night when she threw up on me and I promptly returned the favor. Bet that stops her excessive spitting up. Now she knows if she throws up, I'm going to give her something to throw up about. Or something like that.

So anyway, I dragged my very sorry butt into work today, and have been coughing all over the office. This has not helped my popularity, but has raised my spirits at the thought of all the people who may shortly be joining me in my misery. How sick am I? I'm so sick that I have on my desk a jar of Indian Ayurvedic medicine, provided by the research scientist who works next door. He explained that this medicine was concocted in Bangalore, and is based on the theory of the four humours. This one targets phlegm, with which I am currently well provided (you could say I'm quite phlegmatic, if you wanted to be a giant dork). Did I laugh at him for buying medicine based on philosophies that were obsolete 300 years ago? No! I thanked him humbly and fully plan to take this Bangalore-produced, phlegm-reducing compound.

At least my coughs will taste like spice, instead of 5 day old mashed potatoes.